Bayley News

Chris Morrison ('81) Out Late
Our BayleyAlumni spies say they ran into Chris Morrison ('81) celebrating his son Matt's college graduation late Saturday/early Sunday at a local watering hole in Dayton, Ohio. And Chris had a good reason to celebrate - Matt is now a proud graduate of the University of Dayton just like his dad. Go Flyers!

Pour Some for the Homies
We have no idea what that means, but we heard it's hip with the kids these days - and no one has their finger on the pulse of today's youth like the staff. Anyway, Alyson Ramsey Johnson ('94) and others will be at the final Bayley graduation on Wednesday, June 1, to offer a toast after the ceremony to the alma mater on the football field. If you are so inclined bring a forty and say good bye.

Bayley No More
Since it's not much fun to kick a dead horse we don't have any snide remarks or jokes to make about the closing of our alma mater - we all need to work through the supposed stages of grief that nut job Kubler-Ross pulled out of her ass. Once that's out of the way we'll bring back the sarcasm. Anyway, Bayley will be no more.

Jets name Dennis Mikula of Bayley-Ellard Coach of the Week
The New York Jets announced that Denis Mikula of Bayley-Ellard Catholic High School has been named coach of the week and is the recipient of the New York Jets High School Coach of the Week Award. For his efforts he will receive $1,000 to benefit his football program and will be presented with a plaque from the New York Jets. The selection of Coach Mikula was made after the Bishops beat the Jets 24-3 at the Meadowlands on Sunday. (Ed. note: This was a real award but the Star-Ledger story is no longer available online.)

Class of '95 voted 'Biggest Bunch of Tools'
Based on a recent comprehensive survey of Bayley graduates, the Class of '95 was chosen as the biggest tools in the school's long history. "It was quite overwhelming," said survey coordinator Amanda Pearson. "I don't think there was one survey participant who did not list the Class of '95 as their number one choice. That group must have been some piece of work." As survey participant Hartsel Crohn ('42) explained, "I hated that class...what a bunch of dicks. I've seen them all too, like that bunch of punks they called the class of '64 and those bastards in the class of '56, but they didn't hold a candle to the putzes from '95."

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Carpe Episcum

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Not approved by the former Bayley-Ellard High School, Madison, NJ*
*We graduated from there, but they didn't get the joke

Nile Sin Pecunia